i wish we had morning classes together so we can spike our coffee.
I'm going to appeal my grade. Is it better to look studious or slutty?
She just messaged me 19 sad faces.
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
we are out of drugs. and patience. please bring former.
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
Piecing together the sordid story from witness accounts and photographic evidence, courtesy of Fcebook. My night included Mojitos, lighting the bar on fire and declaring myself the Queen of Nerds when I stole someone's flashing tiara. Woke up this morning with a velvet cape and plastic scepter to match. Mojitos are awesome!
And after that you guys started calling arbor mist "breakfast juice"
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Randomize