my grandma just informed me that patrick swayze used to babysit my dads cousins why wasn't i informed of this early...like when i was obsessed with dirty dancing!
I'm pissed I'm finding this out at 24 bc i could have used this material to make friends
If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
I don't know which is a more impressive stolen object. The couch from a sheer logistical viewpoint, or the parking meter because i'm pretty sure that's a federal offence.
Why did you come into my room last night at 3am and pour monopoly money on me while you were crying?
I'm trying to make a sex playlist
record yourself crying and put it on a loop.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
There's jello in my purse I have a mysterious glow stick and didn't sleep with anyone my god I'm 3 for 3 tonight
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
Like why am I even still facebook friends with a guy I let finger me at a concert?
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
Randomize
