Convinced the bartender that I'm a congressman. Free Drinks. God bless America.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
Having never done that before, When should one expect the horrible shame to end? Days, months, ever?
A week or so, depending on size. In your case, maybe give it a month.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
We've started traveling with Michael and Patrick so we can pretend we're two legit straight couples.
A charade that fell apart the second another couple on the cruse found Sarah face down in my box on an observation deck.
I found them. Thank God. Now I'm gonna have to take a Xanax for the panic attack I almost had trying to find my Xanax.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
If a marine in My bed is not considered a valid excuse for missing class then I don't want to live in America anymore
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
With my son watching me, I pulled down my pants and shit in her trash can.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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