Do NOT cum in me, on me, or in my bed.
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
my binge eating and her being stoned all the time has reduced us to a bowl of chinese candies, frozen bacon and a stick of butter, we do however have enough alcohol to start our own liquor store.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
It's official. Those are now your come fuck me flipflops
If you don't fuck me hard, rough, and senseless the minute we're alone in your room, I'm returning you to the boyfriend store
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
I know right? It's like he knows how to pleasure me better than I do myself... He's like a prophet of sex
Yea.. And you'll love me a whole lot more when I start letting my vagina make all the decisions..
Randomize
