Eating doritas dunked in queso con salas. Salllas. Salska. Salsa. Got it. Shhiitt. Salsa con queso. That's better. I'm hot pink socks.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
I just threw up during my phone interview for the largest PR firm in the world.
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
My dad told me my only assignment from now til graduation is to not die. it's a legit concern for him.
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
your like the ambassador to my penis.
You don't understand. He was so ginger that he could make red hair a dominant gene. And I refuse to torture my future spawn like that.
Its everclear night, yall need carbs in your body!
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
She bit my shoulder during foreplay last night, and it's already infected. I think she has rabies.
You fell asleep standing up against the shower wall
You texted him 17 times. Asking for him back and sending random pictures of Jimmy Buffett. He didn't answer.
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
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