make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
my boobs just fell out on the dance floor. my wedding is totally beating your wedding
So does your leg always twitch violently when someone plays with your clitoris? Or has my ten years of piano playing finally paid off?
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
Sex tent. say it aloud its amazing. promise you we rnt stoned.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I legitimately had a champagne shower last night at a rave. I was also carrying around two bananas in my pockets like guns. Drunk doesn't even. Begin to explain My night.
Who says there aren't gentlemen anymore? My one night stand warmed up my car for me
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
just woke up. hair smells like weed and bbq. shins are bruised. vague memory of us chasing deer at the park at 3 am. fill me in on what exactly happened.
He could only go see Deadpool without his girl if he was black-out drunk... because spoilers. They're the perfect couple.
Can we start referring to attractive men as "A fine piece of dick?"
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
Randomize
