then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I hate when laundry day is determined by the number of cum stains on my bed
they said they heard you say put it in my butt
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
Getting arrested together sounded so much more fun in theory.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
Now back to adults eating hotdogs.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
I literally got so drunk last night, I texted myself "porpoises" and that was it. I have no recollection of this.
Hey can you send me a copy of my mugshot? I need it to prove a point
It's statistically impossible for there not to be at least one guy sexting you right now
You know you're too high when you find yourself crying at " hand in my pocket" by Alanis Morissette because it's "just TOO REAL"
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
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