Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
they duct taped my keg cup to my hand with my sister's phone number on it. I should be ok tonight.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
But I love Penises too much to give up on them. My phone capitalized Penises. It's like it knows I respect them
Ok... I'm a little jealous... Grab her pig tails and ride her like a jet ski. Making motor noises is optional.
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
My only objective is to get drunk enough to forget the last 364 days.
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
It happened to me once. But i washed off in a duck pond and walked home naked.
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
Randomize
