he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
Just spent a extra 20 minutes on the phone with the lady from unemployment talking about how to make the best brownies.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
I sorta feel bad for the actual person in my fake id that got a drunk in public charge.
If you see my mugshot on the news tomorrow, its not what you think
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
I tried to roll down the stairs in a ball. I have bruises, the pain is too much.
What the fuck, why would you ever do that?
Haven't you ever just wanted to be a ball?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
my goldfish that i got the day i lost my virginity just died. im terrified as to what this symbolically means for my sex life
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
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