ice luge is my downfall...
...u mean upfall.
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
It was one of those "wake up holding a random metal flower" kind of nights.
whiskey
stop
tequila
you're fuckin up my ability to be a agrown up
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
We watched the first ever season of SNL and fucked for so long. He accidentally punched me in the face, but I mean, John Belushi was the background noise of our sex. I can deal with it.
She tried to gratify me left handed. Let's just say I've been placed on the 15 day DL.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Should I apologize for the loud sex I had in his living room? Because I'm not going to.
Definitely not.
Fuck off. Since when do you love him??
Since he licked my arm to retrieve the macaroni and cheese he dropped. You have to appreciate that
Can't even lie. Mad respect
He stole my heart. I stole his identity.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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