I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
38 yer olds are good kisserssss
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
I think it says something about my life when I start picking up girls while im in rehab. And I don't think it's good.
Also they do not have any come back to america, i miss my fuck buddy cards at Hallmark.
There just aren't enough words in the English language to convey my deep and abiding love of your cock. So I am beefing up on my Portuguese.
My wife ladies and gentlemen! Love ya babe.
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Just made a diving catch to save a handle of Fireball falling out of the car. ESPN worthy.
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
I also told the bartender he probably had a beautiful spleen
I don't really care where everyone ended up, but is everyone alive and not in jail?
Not in jail
Alive?
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You can only use the "she handcuffed me naked to your bed, i couldn't do anything, sorry bro" excuse once.
You have a tempurpedic. you only have you to blame.
Randomize
