Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
There really should be an "avoid ghetto" option on my GPS.
She sang Bad Romance to me. Not really the answer I was looking for.
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
beeferoni + vodka = puke stuck in braces.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I posted my balls on ericas instagram. It got 17 likes.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
make that a herd of moose. they will be my moose minions
holy shit I just remembered that story I told about Tom hanks going bowling while high.
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
Just saw a girl I banged wearing a pro life shirt downtown. Not sure where to start with that.
Randomize
