piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
it was great that she threw up because that made me the only one trying to hook up with her
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
this may be my drink champagne alone in a bbaby pool in the dark night
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Life is too short to have fake orgasms.
Only he would come to a strip club and talk about an internship with Walt Disney during a lap dance.
There should be a rule. If your dick is under 6 inches, you are not allowed to dress as Thor.
He walked straight into the wall, said "excuse me ma'am" and continued back to his dorm room.
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
There's lube and condom packets all over the street we missed something awesome.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
you know you're sexually deprived when you're holding a warm taquito in your hand and your vagina starts to tingle
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