I'll forget this but out at 4am with a lesbian model at lil waynes bday party for the record
but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
That night just went downhill after you pissed yourself while sitting on my lap
There's a lady lying down on the sidewalk in front of our building smoking a cig
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
You ran out of his house yelling "I got the goods!" Then you pulled toilet paper rolls out from under your shirt.
Could someone explain to me why there were 40 individually wrapped burritos in the fridge when I woke up this morning?
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
Randomize
