I like how she turned her beer into a wet t-shirt contest
I woke up with my 26er down my pants and a peice of paper stuck to my forehead with gum that said "tell it to the greek goddess beside me"
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
I'm watching i used to be fat. I've been doing crunches for the last half hour yelling at the slut on tv to stop crying and do crunches.
LISTEN TO ME! GAY. FIREFIGHTER. They are the most rare and precious kind of gay. The kind little gays dream of. It needs to happen.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
I mean I love some drunk compliments, but he just wasn't up to my low standards.
he went down on me while I ate Oreos. I don't know what caused the orgasm.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
while giving me head, she stopped, looked up at me smiling and said "ill never be able to look at bananas the same way again" and then went back to work.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
i think you might have coined the term "slightly awkward pyromania"
Going to jail. Warrant. Be home late. For the love of god turn your ringer on.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
