After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
We're gonna have the chick that teaches kindergarteners to fold origami roll the joints.
Two dudes. Loud music. Dancing shirtless possibly naked. Why would I ever need cable?!
I should be a dude... Walking a goat on a rope is a total chick magnet.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
You popped the Plan B pill then clapped twice, said "mischief managed" and headed tward the bar.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Pretty sure this ice cream truck is following me.
My yoga ball is now going to be used for actual exercise instead of somewhere to suction cup a dildo
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
so he'll eat food out of a dumpster but he won't lick your ass?
Randomize
