you know when i was in school the girls definitely did not have the tits the 15 year olds have now. so unfair.
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
flash back: i gave smirnoff to a group of children at walmart
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
I'm allowed to be upset. I've never had that many fingers in my ass
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
Gave him an awesome blow job on his living room couch last night, so at least he'll have something nice to think about next time he's watching the Tigers lose.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
You gotta hand it to him. 6 hours in a new town and he's already fuck someone, had his ass kick by her bf, and rounded up a posse of people to kick this guys ass.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
when she didn't finish her burrito you wanted to call the cops because you said it was neglect
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