dude i just heard a girl tell another girl 'what part of im trying to get laid tonight dont u understand?'
needless to say i wont be back home tonight
From the prices on this menu it looks like I have no choice. I have to blow him.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
I may or may not have traded your body to the rodeo's owner for free beer.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
I was grinding on people that were grinding. Nonconsensual.
Dude. Where are you? There's a hot chick drunkenly dancing on the bar and aggressively taking shots to Pink songs. She looks like she needs a rebound. Get. Here. Now.
FUCK NYC TRAFFIC.
jesus, I think that canada gold metal game has completely changed all rules of acceptable drinking habits, I was fucked untill noon and I just got invited to go party when I get off work...at 600am...and NO ONE understood why i was hesitant
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
Keep two things coming: nudes and puppy pictures
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
Randomize
