yes, too bad my tears were being wiped away by tits in my face
3 st and 6 ave. One dollar pitchers. Look out world.
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
The freshman came home at 9 this morning with one heel, no pants, and a strangers sweatshirt covered in tequila-scented vomit. I think we're done corrupting her for a while.
Did you spray paint that captain morgan fifth that's in the freezer gold?
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
I will always remember today as the day I narrowly escaped having to touch a tiny penis
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
I just want to sit my fat ass down at McDonald's and never leave
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Randomize
