Woo Hoo! Just saw Asian kids with rocker mullets. Tried to get a picture on my phone, but you know how those ninjas are.
why weren't you at the audition last night?
booty call before role call
That was the scariest sex i've ever heard....
It was the best sex i've ever had.
He asked me why my bellybutton was so ugly... and wondered why i wasnt in the mood anymore.
You mean 'full wolf form' wasn't a drunk text?
he/she has shaved legs and makeup on. but a spare tire stomach, high socks with high heels...a wig and glasses. and still talked like a man. it was a nightmare scenario
At least our walk of shames never included a bag of chips and a jar of queso..
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
I need to stop agreeing to hang out with people when I'm drunk.
You're only young once, and once you get old, you either regret all the sex you had, or you regret not having enough.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
Randomize
