i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
I hope that the reason I've been psycho on him is that I'm pregnant and not just psycho.
Either these are mashed potatoes in my pants, or I was drunker than I thought.
My professor just gave everyone in the class extra credit... except for the kid wearing the Cubs hat
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He told me all about his plan for proposing to his girlfriend as pillow talk.
I love my boobs, they're the only thing that supports me. They make me a solid 6.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
Got laid in my rudolph onesie for the second year in a row. New tradition? Absolutely.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
So I'm going to regale you with a tale of someone who went out, was fed way to many shots, got super wasted and now has a date with one of the security guards from the building but has no idea what his name is. That someone is me
just pleasured myself to USA hockey beating Russia in the shoot out. god bless America.
I think people are normalizing furries
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
Randomize
