...is it true? will i see you next weekend
YES.
ah, i can't wait till there's negative 2 inches between us
It was amazing what she could do with her one good arm.
i'm starting to get really nervous about the relationship i have with my cat
We just built a bong out of a pineapple. I am never leaving hawaii. Ever.
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
Let us do this. Tomorrow night is thirsty Thursday. Let us drink whiskey from the bottle and have men in plastic gloves inscribe permanent images of each others faces onto our buttocks.
So it's national ass day?! I love October. No bra last Saturday and now ass day. This is my month. God is dedicating this October to me!
ummm im also counting the $14 dollars I gave the old guy to pay for the cab I called for him to take to the hospital last night as part of ur present.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I told the bartender that his red, white and blue shots were terrible and tasted like Thomas Jefferson's balls.
I have vodka and 50 pizza rolls best spring break ever
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
We could probably bang our way to enlightenment. However acid helps.
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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