i finally understand why guys leave in the middle of the night.......they got it right
I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
i think i recognize dicks better than faces
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I was trying to be really smart and save 10 dollars for each cab there and back. ...so I ripped a $20 dollar bill in half.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
If I'm going to start compromising my butthole it's going to be for much better drugs than a ventolin
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
Last time I checked he was house sitting for his ex while she was out of town with some new dude. He was crying about how the guy told him to stay out of his whiskey while he was gone. That's whipped
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
