shes about as inviting as chlamydia
Doing "bucket stands" with buckets of margarita. Don't tell me it's not a good idea.
He woke up screaming about pickles. I think it's gonna be a good day.
Ok, but If I make this happen, my first born son gets to fuck your first born daughter
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
In related news, I couldn't want to blow you more if your dick made harmonica noises.
I got my first tattoo & injured myself while having sex in a national monument. I say we consider this weekend siezed.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I sent him a tit pic on accident and he replied with "nice ass"
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
I don't care what the Chinese zodiac calendar says . . . 2015 is the year of the cock!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
But I don't see you as the jesus riding a dinosaur with a machine gun type of guy
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
Randomize
