There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
For the record dan just proved he knows the first and last names of ALL the members of NSync. Jury is no longer out on his sexuality.
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
There are taser marks on me. Your face flashed before my eyes when i woke up and saw them.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
They shoved things up my nose I feel violated
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
He ended up buying the equivalent of dinner at a Mexican place, in weed
WE'RE NOT MAKING A DICK PIZZA OKAY
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
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