I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
Although, to be fair, I am both willing and going to lick marshmallow fluff off of your dick.
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
We just laid there in bed together, petting his dick and repeating, "IT FEELS LIKE VELVET!!!"
I just flicked a lizard out of the window with a bud light in one hand and spatula inthe other...dont tell me you dont miss the south
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
yeah, never be friends with someone with shitty eyebrows.. they obviously already make poor life choices
He told me he loved me and then peed his own bed. So at least it was a memorable one night stand.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
