In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
until you tell me otherwise ill assume we're playing "cavity search" the homeland security game to spice up our sex life
As soon as the judge read that I rear ended the car from getting roadhead he chuckled. You know he's been there before.
so I made out with a lobbyist last night. im officially a resident of D.C
You just kept mumbling, "Shit shit shit, the muffin man owes me money." Repeatedly.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
Grad practice is like a live scrapbook of my drunken sexual encounters
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
OK am i seriously the only one who thinks Cocaine Tuesdays is a bad idea?
When I say drunk I mean that in the process of filming a fratstar cooking show they threw a keg into the street where the police came to clean it up. now all they can say is "THE KEG GOT ARRESTED."
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Randomize
