You can't hide fat with big sunglasses.
i cant be the least bit upset about his new gf cause all i think is that she has to put things in his ass
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
I wish real life had facebook tags so i could figure out who all these people are
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
I just made bacon chili cheese fries for dinner...someday my kids are going to realize I'm a stoner & this will all make sense
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
Halfway through lecture, some kid in the front row threw up IN his hands. Professor held the door for him to carry it out.
But I wanna cuddle and just put my hand awkwardly close to your penis area by accident and look at you
It feels like New Years Day all over again...me trying desperately not to throw up in the backseat & mom and dad blissfully unaware in the front
At dinner her sister yelled "he fucked me AND mom!! Up your standards hoe!!" Safe to say I ruined that family
I've also stopped shaving, like, everything. I can't tell if I'm empowered or sad
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
I'm too hungover to Google him and try to save face.
Randomize
