Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
Just talked to the girl you brought home from the bar last night while she was looking for her panties. She said to tell you "nice try".
i just realized i put more money and effort into 420 then i did for christmas
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
This is going to be the summer remembered forever as the giant 3 month long mushroom trip.
She made me sing happy birthday to myself at the urinal.
Dear America, sometimes I miss your Everclear and its consequences.
Dude you missed it. This guy in the liquor store knocked over a whole display of 5 hour energy with his face.
The whorange rubbed off. His white shirt was so gross at the end of the night I told him to frame it.
Just bought shock top, Trojans, double shots and baby oil. At 8 am. While the lady in front of me bitched about her expired coupons.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
I can't thank you enough for the well-timed blowjob. What a huge improvement in my outlook on the day.
Andddddd I'm drunk
Andddddd it's Tuesday
That's your opinion.
I would let him fuck me right here in this laundromat. Praise Satan.
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