margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
question: masturbation: how much is too much? I think i'm about to tip toe a fine line
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
I'm so hungover I took Dramamine to help prevent the motion sickness of walking.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
This essay is so getting done. I am spurred on by thoughts of test-driving your newly shaven face by sitting on it as soon as humanly possible.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
Master Skywalker, there are too many of them. What am I going to do?
Hit on the one in the red shorts. The thirst is strong with this one.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
I'm still questioning who dropped me off last night. So successful wedding?
Randomize
