3.50 mugs at the bar.
Nah man, im with an ugly chick. Im waiting til everyone's drunk enough tonight, they don't notice.
How ugly, and does she have friends?
She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
The funny thing is... I'm about to go to the store to buy WD-40 and condoms... That's it.
And before you ask they are unrelated purchases.
Just got to school and somone already mentioned the amount of cereal im carrying.
Just had a handjob preempted by a huge bolt of static electricity leaping from her fingertip to my sack. I hate this time of year.
She only remembers me when she's drunk. It's like I'm a suppressed memory that only surfaces with alcohol.
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
don't bring your nerd jargon into this conversation about my naked body
Fuck you, dude, I'm not sharing my weed anymore if you're going for the Panthers.
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
Hypothetically speaking, if a girl asks you to fuck her wearing only your hockey helmet, is that socially acceptable?
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Randomize
