well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Last night I dreamed I was having gay sex in prison. That's the last time we go to theme night at the club.
threw up in a bar last night and got laid on an air mattress. my bucket list just got a lot shorter
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Just before going down on me she said, "I need a hairband for all of the jobs I'm about to perform."
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
Its great. Every time she starts barking i know ive got approximately 37 seconds to hide my gf in the closet and throw some clothes on
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
A little boy in a bathroom stall just shouted "mom where's your penis?? Is it inside you?"
i had a tequila and emotion induced one night stand with a random stranger. senior year: infinity me: 0.
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
After we finished, she peed a little on my chest and told me she was "marking her territory". I didn't know if I should have been scared or aroused.
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I kinda wanna drive through the Gator bar parking lot and seeing if my panties are on they ground, they should be right next to my pride...
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