i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
I get so lonely sometimes I set my phone's alarm to go off every 5 minutes or so and imagine people are texting me.
ive never been actively dumping during the pledge of allegiance before today...
I take back everything I said about communal showers
All I remember is you introducing yourself to the entire basketball team using the line "I'll show you a slam dunk."
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
I just tried to eat one of my ear plugs, thinking it was a cheese curl. I need it to be break RIGHT NOW.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
Just caught myself trying to make grilled cheese with the stove off. I think my dad knows I'm high.
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
I'm just really glad SD weather is so erratic so I can get away with wearing a scarf in May to cover up these hickeys.
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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