dude, mark had the least successful cab ride in history last night. took a cab to the bars, stopped at every atm in the city, none worked, then had to come back to the party to beg for 20 to pay the taxi that officially took him nowhere.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
Weed smoke burps in the boss's face. Job security.
We sold so many girl scout cookies when we were little. What went wrong?
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
There are a bunch of highly educated, advanced in their field, PUSSY ASS BITCHES in this bar
Signs of a stoner: trying everything in your fridge topped with peanut butter to seek satisfaction.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
im questioning your sanity while also accepting your reality
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
