ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
uhhh i just had a guy tell me he's seen more jam bands and done more drugs than i could err imagine. what a turn on.
Just thought you should know in my puerto rico drunkenness yesterday I signed my dogs name on the bar tab. cruise = success
im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
Other than a hickey from some random Canadian roller derby girl, I came out unscathed
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
chimney cleaner pole that expands when button is pushed then pull out. Remember that. We have to patent it.
Who are you high with right now?
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
The highlight of my night was when you proclaimed that the man standing next to you smelt like grape medicine...
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
