So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
You picked a bad night to stay in. ____ caught her hair on fire in ____'s birthday cake.
She had to stop drop and roll while two other girls beat the flames out. She might have a black eye
you asked the guy at 7-11 if he remembered when you came in and threw news paper every where... then you did it again
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
oh god was she eating orange peels again
Housekeeping just called to see if we were okay bc they came in the room earlier and we didn't move.
I woke up and he was just feeling up my stomach. I felt like buddha and he was rubbing my belly for good luck. never again.
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She's like the Jonah Hill of sorority sisters.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
ugh i want to get waxed but I’m afraid. my vagina has had enough trauma this week, i don’t know if I can put her thru any more.
You were drinking tequila through a straw.. and kept waving your arms at me and getting this intense stare down as you muttered something about jedi mind tricks.
We were peeing side by side on the riverbank together and I felt like nothing brings you closer than drunken riverbank urinating so I caught her a friendship frog to wipe with since we left the tp in the canoe.
Randomize
