Who said anything about talking that was a booty call
I just googled how to quit your job and cause a big uproar at the same time....i tell you how tomorrow goes, i'm so excited....
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
And why did 3 people fail to stop me from literally getting a piggy back ride from the bar to his apartment?!
fun fact #6 about tuesday nights: giving head with two 40s taped to your hands is not as easy as you would think
I thought he was walking around the front. I just hit and run my booty call. I'm the worst non girlfriend ever
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
so when our kids ask "when did you know you loved mommy?" you're gonna say "when she sent me emoticons about slobbing on my knob?"
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I can't believe just smoked out of a pear
I can't believe you had a pear already made to smoke out of, that was impressive
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Hmmm, well all I'm saying is don't do anything too irrational because you miss him and are blinded by his large penis.
You cannot ask her to resend the picture of her genital tattoo to you just so you can show your room mate. it is time to end your relationship with the Captain.
Randomize
