I feel like our bond as friends is a lot stronger now that I've talked to you on the phone while having sex.
I tried watching the view, i got through 8 minutes. That is probably a world record.
They always sound like a bunch of chickens.
so let's talk penis.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
screw that ipod for my birthday.. i just want a weed brownie the size of my face. that's all.
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
Its like they don't get that I only talk to them before homecoming, thanksgiving, or any other time I go home. I love highschool girls.
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
So, just saw a lady hysterically sobbing in a Walmart at 3 AM. Someone's not having a happy mother's day.
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Randomize
