My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
successfully started a charcoal grill with 2 shots of everclear and some aluminum foil. i never wanna leave here
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Sunday is a myth, I refuse to believe that I waste an entire day unable to function after a night of drinking.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
It's kind of like, standing in a garage and pretending you're a car. Except you're naked.
Fuck that. I'm not afraid to die. I'll prove you can survive on a bagel bites and rum diet.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I've been sleeping with the same person for about two months now, I think I know a little bit about stability and commitment.
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Just puked. First it was bright neon blue then it turned to bright lime green. How does that even happen? And wtf was I drinkin last night?
Randomize
