like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
DO IT!!! IT MUST BE FATE THAT I GAVE YOU THAT CONDOM!!!!
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
After we fucked he shhhh'd me and said your welcome
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
Also, I have your check. Also, still wanna drop acid?
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
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