You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
I somehow fell asleep on my kitchen counter using the microwave as a pillow
Its only tuesday and I need a dd home from work. This is getting too easy.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
We're about to go to a party titled 'Night of 1000 Jello Shots".
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
I just stole a bunch of balloons from a birthday party and am giving one to each person at the bar.
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
He started talking about getting a puppy together. So of course I went down on him later
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
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