you were so high you were expressing yourself in action figures
Never let Scott cook bacon and eggs at 2am while drunk. You should have seen the flames.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
Ha Ha the cop that just pulled me over would like me to tell you hi!
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
I got spanked with a cardboard tube. Apparently he used to be a percussionist. Who favored marching band tunes. It was weird.
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Is the booze for tonight or the apocalypse?
Both. Pregaming the zombie party and hurricane sustenance.
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
You need to get a passport so we can carry our bad decisions over the border
Randomize