I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
If I had a clone, I'd fuck it with a condom
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
I don't care how many kiddie pools are in our house. One is too many.
Blood. All over. Pre coke adventure needs to slow down unless I'm involved
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
I need something for rope burns and an inner ear infection. Separate incidents, FYI..
i found you laying on the floor staring at the ceiling and you kept muttering "why" in various inflections.
The worst thing about buying this extremely comfortable bed is that once I get a girl into it, all she wants to do is sleep. I want my fucking money back.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
