I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
And I wrote a rap so it was actually a productive afternoon minus not paying our bills.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Part of my treatment is getting high and having sex with 22 year olds. I have a prescription!
I told the guy that if he didn't put enough pepperoni to earn the name " pepperoni feast", that I was gonna sue him for all he had. Believe it or not, that's all I remember.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
1) Woke up alone with my bathing suit on inside out spooning an empty bottle of Jack, 2) get the fuck on to my level 3) please pick me up and bring a stuffed pony, some Oreo's and my pride...
She said I can't embarrass her, the challenge has been set
Randomize
