i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Any girl that compares her vag to a hot ham sandwich is beyond a slut
Let's have a moment of silence for the guinea pig that drunk chick threw out our window.
He just asked if I would make his black snake moan. Dating basketball players is not worth the glory
I think we can all look back on last night and categorize it under, " reason why Cory can't be left at the bar by himself"
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
i was mezmorized. she was the most beautiful girl that looked like a boy i ever seen
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
He was my shower sex Sherpa last night. And we both made it safely up the mountain.
I have vodka and a slip n slide so of you could come over that would be great
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
Do you have Pokemon Go yet? I just caught a Clefairy on my walk of shame and feel way better about myself.
one nice thing about being home: no walks of shame, just drives of shame
Seriously if we go to rome ur fucking me into the sunset on a wrought iron balcony overlooking Vatican City
Come on baby if you haven't had a Charleston chew eatin out of your ass you just ain't livin right.
Randomize
