Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
think i got pink eye from a stripper in vegas. showgirls did not prepare me adequately for this. be kind, 2010.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
His dick might not be the answer to my problems, but I'm definitely ok with testing it as a possible solution.
Everything's fine I'm just stoned and my pillows are too soft.
Yes I hit her with my car. Yes I gave her a ride home. And yes she gave me her number. What's the problem?
It's embarrassing enough people in my life are aware of the ridiculous things that happen to me. I don't think we need to get the whole world involved.
Mom just referred to a 9 year old as "this bitch", so I'd say day drinking was a success.
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
I wanna fuck that hideous moustache right off your face. get the confetti ready for the festivities
Like I fucked him in the shower at 3 am when I had classes all day the next day so he can't say I'm not dedicated
I just want to buy drugs without having to pay an arm and a leg for it. Is that a horrible thing to ask for?
I mean, it's not like you can exactly complain to the manager and higher ups about it.
yeah, i thought because of the nature of his job he would have been better at it, but i guess there's a difference between a bagpipe and vagina
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Always great to be boarding a plane when you realize that what you thought was gas is actually very untrustworthy
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