and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
is it bad if I use the term bowl as a measurement of time, as in how long it takes to smoke a bowl?
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
Nothing like throwing up 1/2 price appatizers and 2 4 1 personal pitcher in uniform to remind myself what a succesful failure I am
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I tried telling you she just blew me in the bathroom but you were too busy making out with her to listen
I will be naked everywhere
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Are there edibles for sale in the Denver airport because if so bring those to my mouth
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
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