fuck, i never want to drink again I drunk dialed matt last night and broke up with him the second night in a row. FUCK QUADFEST
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
I literally just wiped coffee off of the corner of my mouth with my boob because my hands were full. Thought youd be proud. Good morning!
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
I really want some funfetti cake but I feel like its more socially acceptable to go out and drink
Sarah is throwing up still and I'm eating salad with my fingers
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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