Dude, I'm in her bathroom and there's crab shampoo... is it worth the risk?
You're missing what this discovery implies... she's got a fucking bush.
I wish there were wingman of the year awards.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
you made sure to tell everyone that the amount of people you had slept with was actually quite low, especially when the size of your breasts was taken into account
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
I know. They started calling me The Incident. The hotel maids, that is.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
Dude if our hands were ladels we could work at a soup kitchen
That would be so convenient
CHAZ BONO WILL BE ON THE NEXT SEASON OF DANCING WITH THE STARS.
Internet Is back!
MY NEWS TRUMPS YOURS.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Honestly my life is shambles over a married man who looked like a fuckin NERD ON HIS WEDDING DAY
Can't tell if it's the drugs or science magic, but I *THINK* that mouse just turned into a squirrel.
I am listening to my ipod while i puke, this is most entertaining hangover i have ever had.
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