OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
we better have passed that bar exam - i dont want to have to drink like this again
A freshman just woke up on our back pourch... He swears there was a party here last night but we didn't have one
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
No fucking idea. Just paid for my chipotle in chocolate coins, though. Either there is a huge language barrier happening here, or my big boobs are finally paying off.
We weren't even through customs yet, and we got offered weed. You would love Jamaica.
The cat just walked up and made eye contact with me while I had sex. I'm going to have to burn the house down with him in it.
Great news. Our sex broke my otter box
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
Also my roomate used some of my condoms so she gave me her hummus. Great trade
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