i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
Well I'm glad to hear the fight wasnt over his small dick.
You should have been there. We got drunk and threw a sword through his windshield.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
hey you forgot your wet suit in my room you can come grab it whenever
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
on the subway to an interview & there's a dude doing whippits out of a cheese wil can
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
I stopped his blowjob to raise 3 fingers & whistle the hunger games tune to the people walking past the window
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Randomize
