these pics are all outta focus - was this what the camera saw? or what your eyes saw?
Grab the Coors Light. Its time to get NASCAR drunk
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
Margaritas are 250 calories. Now measuring all food in margaritas
I will give you all my nachos to make this happen
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
And the cockring thing wasn't sexual.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
I let my daddy issue flag fly free last night.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
Seriously babe, why do I keep waking up with bruises on my nipples? WHAT ARE YOU DOING TO ME IN MY SLEEP?
Actually, scratch that, I'm not sure I want to know.
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
Randomize
