Blonde 1 is sitting on the floor crying and blonde 2 is asleep with her face in the toilet. This isn't what I had in mind when they asked me back
We did lines off of a Whitney Houston CD case. That makes everything okay.
i'm about to say screw it and get drunk in the hotel by myself
It's 2 pm, at least sit by the pool...
She's going to get me a sippy cup for christmas. If I can't open it, I can't have any more to drink. Seem reasonable?
Are we sharing a room, or can I pack my vibrator?
Yes to both. We'll use the workout rotation from dorm life.
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
How hard is it to grasp the concept of 'I lost an impromptu saber bout and so I have to make a macaroni map of Soviet Russi, including Kazicstan'!?
she has that "i will punish you like your mom did" vibe, i think guys like that.
Look, you're talking to the wrong girl here. Tacos>dick always and forever
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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