32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
Do you like marathons because that's how long I plan on fucking you.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
Yeah dude, it's amazing. Be careful though, that shit is really really intense. Like it's way more intense than normal shit...
I took two and feel like crushed diamonds spread over glazing marmalade
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
i got kicked out of the casino for drunken disorderly conduct because i kept stumbling into old people and one of them told on me. as the boucer was taking down my information so i could no re-enter i ripped my id out of his hands while yelling fuck you.
You mom sent me some article linking anal sex, damaged prostates and sterility. Does she still think your gonna go straight and have kids one day?
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