A woman in the waiting room at the STD clinic told me that she is going to pray to jesus for my penis.
and people in Baltimore still get a bad wrap.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
this morning he rolled over looked at me and said "oooo, you look like i need a drink" and then put on his clothes and left without another word
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
Hes laying on the floorn in the bathroom telling Jesus to raise the flag
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
I'm ready to sell my soul to the strip club tonight
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
Apparently I was directing traffic outside of Keeneland. Apparently I'm not a police officer. Who knew....
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