Watching NYC prep. Doing a shot everytime one of these d-bags flips his hair. I give it 10 minutes before alcohol poisoning set in.
I've spent 9 hours vomitting in the fetal position... how did i stay like this for 9 months?
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
He literally sends me dick pictures, EVERY DAY. SEVERAL DIFFERENT ANGLES ..it's like I GET THE POINT.
He just asked me if he's allowed to flirt with me. That's how whipped he is.
ive penciled you in for a day of excessive drinking
Im going..... Drinking all day and hand jobs from 18yr old emo rich girls that are just trying to get back at mom and dad for being to protective...SOLD
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
Okay. How did someone manage to piss on TOP of a urinal? What giant is roaming around with a prick five feet from the ground?
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
Bro, if we got a house, it'd basically be a revolving door for slightly overweight, but extra cute, sexually deviant girls with daddy issues.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
Randomize
