What the hell did I do to get youtube to recommend a video for me called "how to increase your chances of getting pregnant"?
girl is pretty boring. i'm gonna see if she'll let me finger her.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
He's telling everyone that the only reason he's at this party is to hook up with me. SOS HELP.
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
please tell me we weren't that bad as freshmen
i can't, we're worse now
My ultimate goal is to get laid wearing a horse mask... That would be awesome on all possible levels
To keep it classy I will take a pregnacy test on Mother's Day
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
Jealous. I want an iud. Maybe there's a late night bodega that'll insert one for me
And then you poured the rest of the vodka into salsa and added the alcohol soaked pineapples and grapes and said "don't touch my salsa breakfast".
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
We already gave up cheese, how are we supposed to give up coke?
Randomize
