I'm kindof freaked out about my cock not getting up this morning. Cove over later so I can sort this out. Do not post this on texts from last night.
Damn that would have been a great one. Hahah and don't worry...
my mother and i just seriously had a convorsation about why you cant Google "Refurbished Dildos"
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I just did the classiest thing ever.
last time you said that you got chlamydia.
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
Alright. I will breast feed the first person to get here.
I got us a lift home. Payment may require me giving road head, are you cool just chilling in the back seat pretending to be oblivious to this happening?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
You better not fucking die before we have sex while you blow fire. I'm serious. Don't mess up my sexual bucket list.
Literally been in their house 5 minutes and I've projectile vomited all over the bathroom wall. The dog licked it up though so I think it's cool.
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