Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I feel like a bad episode of csi trying to figure everyone's DNA that's in me
Im watching hello kitty on qvc debating if its a good idea to cook bagel bites on my space heater
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
I learned something last night. Strippers can be on house arrest?
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
That's not as bad as watching a dumb ass drunk peeing into your window fan -
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
I just walked into my kitchen and my little brother is standing with his face two inches from the clock, staring at it, and eating an apple. I asked wtf he was doing and he just goes "the hour hand is moving VERY slowly".
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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