So I just did the walk of shame at dunkin... A lady told me me I was really dressed up and I told her I was going to a luncheon.
Is it sad that I'm on the stopduiaz.com website and there is a cute boy but it will never work between us because hes in jail for 17.5 years?
Um.. is it mean if I say yes?
How would my first penpal letter even go? "Hey saw you on stopduiaz.com, sucks you killed that motorcyclist. Whats your favorite thing to do on the weekend?"
i got turned down by a girl after she saw how big my penis was and she said "thats not goin in me"
I had forgotten what it was like to go to all four classes. It's exhausting.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
I am making pancakes and watching Spongebob Squarepants. My life is a waste of youth.
Hi future me, I saved you a big mac under the bed.
I just kept screaming "I'm fucking a preacher's son!" Also, this water tastes like weed.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I'm sorry but you're choosing a girl that faked a pregnancy when you wouldn't return her calls over a more attractive sane girl who you begged for a chance with last week? God you're a loser.
Paige is home safe.
Actually, she's here now, punching me in the face. You should've kept her keys.
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
I finally figured out how to tighten my bra straps and I feel like a god
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I just masterbated to the Lets Get Ready To Rumble theme
Randomize
