she wants me to meet her parents and she hasn't even met my penis yet.
Sorry I never got back to you, I ended up at a party with pot ice cream, pot apple cider, and hash vegetable oil.
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
I'm getting kicked out of the place we're at. They don't like ketchup on their walls..
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Just told my mom I need money for Molly. She was not happy
I woke up without my clothes on covered up with a towel on the floor because for some reason I took a bath in my clothes at 2am.
So somehow today's lecture on the immune system turned into me having to stand up and explain female ejaculation to the class.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
Crying into a glass of wine at 10 am isn't exactly how I planned this day to go
Oral stamina is what keeps life exciting
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
It's magical, I'm just dancing. It's like prom but by myself and with less clothes.
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