"Ever since I killed her kid she be actin' shady." Actual quote overheard at Marine World just now. Oh God.
All was going smooth until he pulled a condom out of his collection he kept in a Cheesy Gordita Crunch Box from Taco Bell.
oh, it's pms. I almost cried yesterday bc my roommates didn't seem perky enough when I got home.
Yeah you fell over while you were peeing and you said "hold I'm, I'm still peeing"
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
You should fuck with them and beat off in the cup and then walk out an be like, "This was a sperm donation right?"
I kind of want to throw a lot of things at him. Mostly blunt, heavy objects.
Are there any rules against fucking the hot TA?
Maybe for her....
Her problem, not mine
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
my ex's current girlfriend held my hair as I threw up. new low.
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
Beer. Pizza. Seething Rage. I will be full of two of these things tonight. You get to decide which two.
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Its like my group of friends and I are all dating and we're all just a bunch of Swingers, is that normal?
Randomize
