ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
New low: just hacked my moms facebook
Aren't I supposed to sit on your face?
I sat a few seats down and one row behind a cute girl at the Cubs game today. Having watched her talk to the guy next to her, I found out only her name and age. I then used that information and pieced it together with over 500 girls on Facebook with the same name. I found the same girl, and we're now fbook friends.
if being a creepy fuck was an olympic sport, they'd think you were using performance enhancing drugs...
stuffed animals make me feel really maternal.
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
It's not every day you get to see a girl fuck herself with a pickle.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
HOW IS IT EARTHLY POSSIBLE TO DO THAT MUCH DAMAGE WITH JUST MY THUMBS?? HOW???
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
HE LIVES IN ANOTHER STATE
actually scratch that last text, he's the perfect boyfriend. He stays faithful and doesnt find out about all the guys here. it's a win-win
Randomize
