I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
Have you ever seen a midget fist pump? BEST. THING. EVERRRRR.
I don't know who he was, where he came from, or where he went, but he just handed me a bowl of mac and cheese and left. It was good too.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Well regardless of which drugs we choose to do tonight until four in the morning, we are having a wii bowling championship. So choose carefully.
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
I walked into the kitchen and twelve of them were just staring at the oven. Freshmen are the weirdest drunks ever.
I plan on being naked for at least 2/3 of the wedding.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
I think I just got suckerpunched by a 14-year-old.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
I feel like I should send her I'm sorry I've been fucking your boyfriend flowers.
Randomize
