Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I'm heating up a hotdog using a candle.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
No. Mother. Fucking. Jello shots. Just no. I'm not falling into that trap again.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
About 98% sure I just walked by some dude jerking it in the library. I'm guessing his college experience isn't going as planned
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Yes I’m serious. I just worked YOUR 12 hour shift on 3 hours of sleep if you come over without tacos and an ice cream cake in hand we are done
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