Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
hows the party?
ists fjcssing insceredle
be there in 10
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
I banged her roommate when she was gone. She came back with a chicken sandwich and a bj. Then she said " smells like my roommates vagina" I think I can get a threesome tonight
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Really, who hasn't had sex on your bed?
ME.
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
I let him stay at my place since i had to work early and when i got home there was a fruit snack wrapper in my bed. I dont have any fruit snacks. Which means he brought his own fruit snacks to the fuck session.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
i think i just lost a toe
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