Dude, she DOES look like she'd give good head. No bottom jaw, I checked.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
I had the spins so badly it was like I was having sex with 2 girls
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
I just tried on my "outfit" for tonight and I should just wear sweatpants and a sign on my face that says I like it in the ass. That would be more comfortable
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
Handcuffs are allowed in carry on luggage :) just checked
The typical response to someone smacking their vodka soaked hand on your face is not to put your face in their crotch
Nick's drunk off his ass and Kyle just Texted me and all he said was "butt pirates from space".
I just want to slap everyone in the face that's happy being sober. Loser.
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
Randomize
