It feels like Jesse James cheated on America.
i told the doctor i drank a college amount of alcohol. judgemental prick
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Found her with a stray dog now called champagne, crying about how she feels a mom now. Had to take her home. The dog too.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
he left a full can of coors light underneath my windshield wiper, like a love note. if that's not husband material, i don't know what is
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
The sex definitely would have been a perk. But not sitting in a ditch was what I was going for...
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
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