Anyway, my grandfather thinks you're attractive
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
THERE IS A VIDEO OF DMX SINGING RUDOLPH THE RED NOSE REINDEER
I'm officially in the Christmas spirit
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
we found him passed out on the baseball field with two 40oz and wearing a tophat.
Where did he get the tophat?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Got hit on by the cable guy. Solid 9. Think Orlando Bloom with a glorious curly mullet.
WHY HAVE SO MANY THING GONE IN MY BUTT ON THIS TRIP
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
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