i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
so you masturbated because Oprah told you?
He just left me a message saying he left the rest of the weed for me. Did i just get paid for sex? And if yes did i just get paid in drugs?
My drug dealer asked me out. What's the protocal for this?
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
You know why I moved here? No public intoxication law. A cop just helped me from my bent over vomit pose, asked if I was ok, and gave me a ride home.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I was originally going to go as fembot from Austin Powers
I wanted to have tiny guns for tits
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
nyquil+orgasm=very intense and oddly interesting
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
Randomize
