I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
honestly if we didnt hate the same people we would have a friendship based on nothing
I was curling my hair today and I looked at my curling iron and thought...
You at least unplugged it right?
there was already a condom in her . . and it was bigger than me
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
How's your Sunday morning ritual of shitting and throwing up at the same time going?
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Who looks around on a bright, sunny day and says, "you know what? Today I'm going to write gay dinosaur erotica"
Randomize
