i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
Its only fair we share our golden vaginas with the world. It would be selfish if we didn't.
You rubbing siracha on a cat with your feet is the opposite of what I want.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
When you're looking for your panties tomorrow, you traded them for a blunt on the train.
She just walked up to him and was like "you should fuck Angela" and it worked! She is the ultimate wingman
You would think by the size of the lump on my ass that I would have remembered falling down a flight of stairs.
My adderall dealer raised his prices due to "impending inflation" ... never buying from a college grad again
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
I threw my back out having sex last night. I don’t know whether to high five myself for a job well done or cry because I’m old.
Dude. That's like masturbating until the point that you're going to climax, then stopping, waiting for a few seconds and then starting all over. While that does lead to an altogether more powerful orgasm, it's still annoying as hell until you get there.
I was not expecting that analogy.
No one ever expects that analogy.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
