fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
when people say theyve been sober for however many years is that like couple beers not drunk sober, or no drinking sober?
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
we were taking shots of hot tequila, which is even worse than it sounds
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
I woke up and there was 3 different size condom wrappers on the floor. What is this goldie locks and the 3 condoms???
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
I think I'll handle my grief by throwing myself headlong into lesbianism. Seems like a fitting tribute to you.
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
My friend just got engaged and I'm setting vibrators on fire.
Your life rocks...
My school has hired a professional rum bottle juggler for our dining hall this evening.
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
Randomize
