tell your sister to shave her snatch
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
Care to explain to me why theres a baby food jar filled with semen in my fridge? or why its labeled as unicorn sweat?
i really did not know you could catch crabs from a sofa until now
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
At the ER. Dropped bottle lead to cut foot which led to me drunk hitting on doctors. Not going well.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
I am serious when I say I think I broke a rib having sex with Kyle. It might be puncturing my lung. No lie. I might die today.
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Also I think I set a new personal record. Definitely slept with him less than 45 minutes after meeting him. Oh god my life.
Randomize