Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
hahaha Yeah oh well, she wrote on my facebook wall, That's almost like a digital hand job
I already brushed my teeth, and it's not even noon yet. Today's going to be a productive day.
Dubbing lion king over planet earth. That stoned.
I may still return these pants. Depends how much they smell like alcohol by tmrw morning. I've already spilled once.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
Also I hooked up with a trainer at my gym. Between her, the married chick, and the bartender, my life is becoming a bad porn plot.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
oh god my hair smells like rotten vegetables, sweat, and tequila. I wanna party with your neighbors every night.
And I was like "take off the damn flower crown, we're about to have sex not post an indie picture on tumblr"
why not an indie porn pic then
Jesus Christ, it's not like going swimming. You don't have to wait 20 minutes after you eat to suck a dick
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
Randomize
