i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
so im sitting outside the gym eating a 20 piece nugget stoned out of my mind, convincing myself this is more productive because im so close to the treadmills.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
I wish you could be here to assess my herpes before he gets here.
I haven't seen her in ages, how is she?
Well I woke up next to her this morning so I guess I would say she could be doing better
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Yup he definitely fell asleep. I'm trying to bone an old man
Some guy in the bathroom just took his shirt off and proceeded to tell me the story behind all of his stab wounds. That's what I get for making small talk
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
We are all done wearing pants today
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Randomize
