she thought don quixote was a type of tequila.
so i am drinking whiskey and watching home alone 2 by myself. it turns out moving to a foreign country isn't all that different after all.
I just found puke in my bra..
Sorry really high. We have no lighter so we're lighting the bowl with rolled up paper towels lit by candle which also lit with a rolled up paper towel that we lit with the stove eye
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
Trust me. My penis has made more than enough decisions this weekend.
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
Sad Megan is Sad
Have you been drinking my beer?
Did you miss the part about my hangover needing a day to rest?
All of my friends are hooking up and here I am, the lone asexual, looking for someone to eat these tostitos with me.
i sent him a nude and he responded 6 hours later
what did he say?
"oh m god,,, whow '!!!!nm"
I just poured two shots of fireball into my Rapunzel mug I love finals.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
Randomize
