I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
wanna go halves on a baby?
last night you decided it was time to "get organized" and "straighten out your life." You pulled out a bag of troll dolls, sorted through them and got nostalgic. You demanded both andy and i take one and keep it forever.
benefit of terrorism--they won't let you buy random one way plane tickets to random parts of the country for no reason nonmatter how high you are.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
oh but the power of the cock will take you to places you never been..i flew to hawaii once to sleep witha chick
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
he fell down during beer pong and the chick told him to rub the sand out of his pussy and suck it up. i am in love
tequilla shots with my grandparents? christmas visiting just got so much better
He told me we were going to a cabin. It's just logs and a tarp made into walls. This night can go either way at this point.
I ran into the kitchen halfway through hooking up cause I forgot I put the cookies on the oven too high. Came back and she was gone but the only thing I could think about was all the extra cookies I could eat now. Got through about 6 before I realized why she left.
You just get me
I'm the wind beneath your wings, bitch
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
And then he tried to convince me that he could wear a condom instead of pants to go out.
Is it acceptable to respond to a declaration of love with 'and I love your dick'? Asking for a friend who shares a name and possibly a phone number with me. Entirely coincidental.
Randomize
