ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Our hot neighbor just came over and asked for a toilet plunger...not so hot anymore
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Being the adderall dealer on campus, I feel responsible for everyone graduating.
Finished sriting an apology letter to my liver 2 weeks before st. Patricks game on
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
My prof handed me back my essay on Lesbians in literature, gave me an A and then we had sex in her office. Told you she was gay.
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
Randomize
