dunno man, last I saw him he bet me he could eat more ranch the me, then ran off
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
The fact that I took a nap during my midterm shows exactly how I handle being an adult
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Ur betting me $100 that I can't do ur sister?
Apparently his version of saying "I'm Sorry" is streaking around our apartment building then asking for a blow job.....
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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