Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
The only thing worse than listening to you two fuck all night was waking up and smelling bacon and there not being any left.
You high fived me for banging your sister but lock me outta house bc I ate your pumpkin pie? Priorities bro
come help me. im curled up in the fetal position on the upper floor of the lib. please bring more caffeine or alcohol
its ok. its hell week the lib is a no judgment zone right now
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Monday is now my bitch. I just did 20 naked push ups on the bar for $20
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
There's a dryer on fire at the laundromat, and everyone's just standing around taking pictures. Except me. I'm texting.
I told him I was going outside to throw up and I ended up passing out in the front yard in my underwear for 45 minutes. When I walked back inside he said "where have u been?". My husband ladies and gentlemen
I've realized that my life is a cycle of high that is only broken by sobering up at work, which only happens because I can't smoke more
LOOK AT HOW SMOOTH THIS BITCH IS
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