Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
I wish I had my old roomstes number so I could send him pictures from lastnight... I had a blast banging his "true love" now that I think about it we're even don't worry about that gas bill you didn't pay. Ur girl worked it off!
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
I was to drunk to drive all the way up there, so we just had rough phone sex instead
You said you were going to take the sideview mirror to your own car so that nobody would steal it. Thats why you woke up with it.
I wish men found my impeccable aim when spitting into the sink attractive.
Mistakes were made. Hot mistakes that I want to make again. But tapping your employee is def a mistake. Esp in front of two other employees.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
Sooo...you're driving 6 hours for free booze?
Don't judge me.
Our livers are going to hate us.
It's okay, they're regenerative. God wanted this.
That man makes my giblets tingle
Congrats? I think?
Randomize
