Yeah, I tried playing the "see how long he can stay inside of me" game.. And I lost.
upper decked the toilet at the restaurant that wouldn't let me pee there yesterday
There is something depressing about eating toast in a dark living room by myself using a paper plate that says: "Let's Party!"
Just know that as we speak i am injecting vodka into gushers
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
When i sexted him a pic of my boobs I was worried he was going to notice the dorito crumbs and know I was just eating topless
IM TRYING TO BE RESPONSIBLE AND ALL I WANT TO DO IS FUNNEL CHEAP BEER AND SCREAM ABOUT HOW MUCH I LOVE OUR NATION
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
I think I'm in the negatives for the quantity of fucks given today.
Also my face is like def lowkey made of silly putty
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Randomize
