There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
Just spent 3 hours on the Mcdonalds website. I don't know what to do with myself now that college is over.
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
Another day, another engagement, another cat
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
Hey guys so who is Justin McGoo and why did I text him "fuck yooooouuu juuuustiiin mcgooo" at 12:06am on Thursday night?
Who died my cat blue again?
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
You know you're more responsible when you turn down your bed and make a clear path to it before you go out..
I've been in town for almost 36 hrs and I haven't made out with a stranger yet - I consider THAT a record!
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