Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
like literally i think i'm sweating out semen right now
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
There are many reasons why he shouldn't come over. And each one is longer than his penis.
After he told me that it's up to him to carry on his family name, I almost felt bad for not letting him cum inside me.
Woke up chewing my pillow from a dream where I was scarfing Cajun pasta from TGI Friday's. That's a new level of fat, even for us
I also have a full keg. I'm thinking about crashing a party, they can't get mad if I bring a keg of beer.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
I lost the right to judge tonight
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
