I'm not inviting you over anymore if my cat keeps ending up in the freezer...
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Tidal wave of highness just hit. Find shelter and catnip. gloves. zebra striped car washes.
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
This is the minute she broke up with me. If you're receiving this mass text, you are one for the girls who made me promise to text you at this point.
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
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