he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
We don't need a hotel, we'll just sleep in the post office.
My dad just decided to play wingman for me... I dont want to let the family down... but both these girls are hideous
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
He's on the bus now and took off his Amish hat so just his long ginger beard is present. Goodbye, majestic Amish ginger. Go forth and represent your minority well.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I gave a handjob to the beat of uptown fuck last night
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
He couldn't undo my bra. He ended up breaking the clasp he clawed at it so long. We met on Tinder for God sake
Yeah. I hurt his pride. But he's not over it. And by it I mean me.
Tell her that we understand the angle wasn't the best on the first video and that we forgive her.
I guess we coulda said a little less mature audience and a little more e for everyone.
How do I tell my boss I have slutty fantasies about him, me and his conference room table?
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
Randomize