Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I noticed when you had too much when you were yelling "HOE-HAVE-A-SEAT" to his cat.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
say it with me now .. the "golden" penis. his nickname does not disappoint.
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She wouldn't eat a clam- if you blow a line pregnant you can eat a clam
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Once someone takes a shit in your toilet they are no longer a guest.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
