where are you?
in the room with the baby pig
k im coming soon
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
does my mom think that having an ed hardy lighter is going to get her laid?
yeah, and then after the convo was clearly over, my dad decides to scream "SIZE MATTERS" just to make things even more uncomfortable.
I just can't bring boyfriends home.
I'm going to fuck him so hard that his dick is going to fracture
Glad to see your being a lady about this
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
I mean it was like cry my eyes out or masturbate in my moms bathroom.
Also he wants to know a casual, consise way to ask a girl in a bar if he could eat her out. Think on that.
Quick!! What's a good reason for me to have rug burn on my chin?
My dad is so drunk he attempted to ride my two year old cousin's tricycle. For a solid five minutes.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
They made Game of Thrones Oreos. Kill me.
Randomize
