he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
i was mowing the lawn and found the coffee pot in the bushes
I walked into my room to see them crying, watching hey arnold, and passing a franzia box back and forth...
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
I look like one classy bitch running in heels through my backyard while carrying a small dog and a large bottle of booze. How am I still single?
Seems like you've kicked summer 2012 off well.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
i can't believe i helped you shave your back last night, and she still didn't sleep with you.
I like to make sure they know it's casual by giving then a high five after sex
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
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